Do you have a why? As in, why do you want X. X could be anything from that girl in school, to a certain job, to a Quarter Pounder from McDonald’s. If you don’t have a ‘why’ you are not going to be very motivated to get it.
As an example, in my life I wanted a girl. Most any girl would do, and I wanted a whole lot of them. I fell in love with every single girl I saw who was my version of attractive. I created elaborate fantasies of the fantastic life I would have with the random girl I saw at the bus stop. Needless to say, I did not have many girlfriends.
In fact, my first real girlfriend experience didn’t even happen until I was 23. That experience taught me A LOT though. There were parts of that relationship that were amazing, and there were parts of that relationship that were absolutely horrible. (I think she dumped me something like 12 times, and I kept taking her back.) But it did help me to mold what I wanted in a significant other.
Leaving that relationship, I had very specific criteria for my next relationship. And when I found her (very quickly) I would not be stopped until I got her. I risked friendships and helped to break a part a good group of friends of mine. But I kept telling myself that this is what would make me happy, and the friends who stayed with me would be better friends for it.
And now I am marrying her.
I knew what I wanted and I knew exactly why I wanted it. Armed with certainty, nothing could stop me. Now I am certain in what I want in my career. It took a long time, and a lot of self examination, but I know what I want and I know why. Just watch me get it.