I was talking with a friend last week, and she asked me to help her deal with someone who always seemed to be able to push her buttons. Every time she has to deal with this person, she gets upset which makes the person upset which escalates up and up until they are both at wits end.
So I thought I would share with you what I shared with her. Today is part one: Shut up.
The main problem that I have seen between these two is that they automatically assume the worst possible interpretation of what the other is saying. Upon jumping to the worst conclusion they begin to then attack the other person for attacking them. The worst is then assumed about what they said and the escalation builds.
If you ever find yourself in this situation, instead of assuming and attacking; keep quiet. If you don’t escalate the situation, you might just be able to keep it at a level where you can have an actual conversation instead of a shouting match.
I know this advice is easier said than done. So I thought I might give you some reasons to follow it.
First, ask yourself a question: Do you want to continue this shouting match for the rest of your life? Because if you don’t do anything to change it that is exactly what will happen. We are creatures of habit, and if you do nothing to disrupt your habits then they will persist.
Second, do you want to get ahead in this world? People who can work with people move forward the furthest. If you can learn how to deal with, and work with more people; you only better your chances of being able to move up in this world.
Third, how soon do you want to die? The more stress and anger you have in your life the more likely you are to have serious health problems later in life. If you can learn to control your reactions, and in turn your emotions, you are statistically more likely to live a longer, healthier life.
Just remember, when in doubt, shut your mouth.