Last night at about 3am Hailey screamed bloody murder. I am talking a straight up horrified scream. I went into her room and she was sitting up, scared. I picked her up and hugged her and told her it was ok and asked her what happened. She kept saying that there was an animal in her blankey.
I turned on the lights and showed her that there was no animal in her blankey and then rocked with her and helped her go back to sleep. She must have had a bad dream that really shook her.
It got me thinking. The thing that was her literal security blanket had all of a sudden become the thing that scared her. Not only had she been scared, and lost the thing that made her feel better; she was actually being frightened by the thing that usually made her feel better. That seemed terrifying.
It actually made me think about a conversation that Guy and I had had earlier in the day. I was talking about the roller coaster of emotions that I have been having in 2018. I kept coming back to losing my rental portfolio as being the prime culprit that was making me feel negatively about other things. Putting it into the context of what I just wrote about Hailey really helps me to see the impact of what we were talking about.
My rental portfolio means passive income now and in the future. It is my security blanket if things go wrong, and it is my way to “retire” if I want to. The thing that is my protector became my attacker. That is why I felt such massive amounts of fear as it was happening and that is why it continues to linger. That is a horrifying feeling.
Now that I understand that I can do the same thing as Hailey did: realize that it was all a bad dream. I made up a horrifying story in my head of what it all meant, and none of what I feared came true. It was just a bad dream. The rental properties didn’t attack me. My thoughts and fears did. I can redirect my thoughts. I can understand that property is a tool. I can use that tool however I want. I can use it to build wealth. I can use it to help others. I can use it.
I am grateful for my sit downs with Guy.
I am grateful for holding Hailey and helping her to feel better.
I am grateful for knowing that they are my thoughts and that I can direct them.
I am grateful for talking through things with Amber.
I am grateful for feeling strong and helpful.
I am grateful for being able to listen to thoughtful people anywhere.
I am grateful for getting shit done.
I am grateful for Thor and Caeli.
I am grateful for experiences with Amber.
I am grateful for my perspective.
I love my life! Thank you!