How to Instantly Make a Friend

Be a good listener.

Have you been trying to get on someone’s good side lately, but it just seems impossible?  Well, I will tell you a great way to get them to instantly like you.  It is not hard, it just requires some initiative on your part.

I should start by saying that this could be viewed as a “trick” and that you really should not do this to trick people into thinking you care.  The most important thing you can do to get people to be more easy going with you is to actually care.  If you actually care about someone, they will be able to tell, and it is pretty hard to dislike someone who actually cares about you.

For the sake of this post, let’s say that you have tried several approaches to get that co-worker, cute acquaintance or whomever you are trying to get closer to to open up, but nothing works.  Here is a great way to get them talking.

First, on Thursday or Friday ask the person what they are doing that weekend.  Again, actually care.  If you ask and then stare off into space as they reply, you are doing more harm than good.  Listen to what they say and if you have to, write it down so that you remember it later.

Here comes the difficult part, on Monday or Tuesday of the next week (whenever you first see them and have a moment) ask them about whatever it was that they told you.  That is it.  If they said they are going to their kid’s baseball game or a concert, be specific and say something like “How was Jonny’s time on the pitching mound?” or “What did you think of Jason Mraz’s stage show?  Was it everything you hoped?”

This shows the person that you were not just making small talk, and that you actually cared about and were listening to what they said.  This sounds like such a simple thing to do.  Yet when was the last time anyone did this to you.  We are all so caught up in our own increasingly busy worlds, that we rarely take the time to get caught up on other people’s worlds.

Try it.  You will be amazed at the results.

~Ryan Lynch

2 thoughts on “How to Instantly Make a Friend

  1. Listening is a major key to my job. It sounds simple, but to truly listen to people and not just hear them is a skill which does not come naturally to many people and must be learned and practiced. My wife may disagree, but I feel my listening skills have been honed over the past 3 years in my sales position. Thanks for your insight Ryan, this will remind me to ask the right questions and truly listen to the answers – hopefully translating into someone eventually liking me 😀

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