I got the horrible news on Monday that a friend of mine’s son had died. This was terrible. It put me into a weird thought process and made me do some deep diving on me and my failures. The first was how terrible I felt. I was afraid to call my friend. What do I say? I always want to help and make people feel better. What do you say to someone who just had a child die? I felt so ashamed that I could not call.
Amber and I went to the visitation the next day. The avalanche of grief that fell on me when I looked at the child’s body was terrible. Again, what do I say? Another thought occurred to me as well. One of Amber’s friends had lost a child a little over a year ago and I made excuses to not go to the funeral with her. Part of it was again that I was afraid to go. How do I fit in there? What do I say to people? These were all just excuses. I felt so terrible at having failed Amber in this way. I apologized to her for doing so. I am very lucky to have such an amazing wife.
I am grateful for Nora.
I am grateful for Hailey.
I am grateful for Amber.
I am grateful for Jack.
I am grateful for Isla.
I am grateful for Emily.
I am grateful for RJ.
I am grateful for being so lucky to have these amazing children in my life.
I am grateful for having friends who I know will always be there.
I am grateful for looking at my failures and looking for what they really mean.
I love my life. Thank you!