Last week I talked about a simple way to judge how others view your demeanor. Today I thought I would talk about a very difficult way to control other people’s view.
I lovingly refer to this strategy as the beginning and the end. To explain, most people go through their days as a foil. If people around them are happy, they are happy. If people around them are angry, they become agitated. I would say that is how 95% of people go about their normal day. Once I figured this out, I decided that I was no longer going to allow other people to dictate how I felt and went about my day. I decided that I was going to be the end. If others “vented” to me, I was not going to pass it on. The chain of venting/complaining/worrying was always going to end with me.
And that worked. Every situation that I went into where people were worried, people became less worried around me because I did not feed it right back to them. But it was not good enough. I needed to become the beginning as well. Now, every time someone is complaining around me, I give them a reason to not complain.
For example, a coworker comes up and starts complaining about eating too much over the holiday season. I do not reinforce that this is “just the way things are” and instead say something to the effect of “Isn’t it great that we have so much food that overeating delicious treats is a problem?”
Consciously doing this has had great effect. People simply do not complain around me. So not only have I made my day better by having to endure less complaining, but I have made those around me have a better day by not focusing on the negative when they are around me. My challenge to you is to be the beginning and the end. It has worked wonders for me.
Please stop the Chain of Screaming: